Keeping fear in its proper place

Moving from "faith over fear" to resting in God's care

Fear is a natural and sometimes necessary thing—a protective instinct that was designed to steer us away from danger. But there are a couple of ways that I see fear talked about in society that are missing the mark. 

Faith over fear

The first is that Christians can never be afraid. Verses rooted in a context of relationship with God are pulled from their context and hurled like epithets seeking to heap shame: “Faith over fear!” What if instead of seeing the “fear not” verses as an admonition to fight our instincts and pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, we instead saw a comforting invitation from a loving parent who wants us to draw courage from his presence with us. Not a barking command to “stop your crying,” but a gentle reminder, “I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

In the debate about what kind of father God is, many take the stance that God is like a general or a warrior king who rules with an iron fist. That matches this narrative of God yelling at us, “Faith over fear! Quit your crying!”

However, when God describes his own character to Moses in Exodus 34:6-7, he calls himself, “the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”

Some like to get hung up on the part about not leaving the guilty unpunished, but forget that before mentioning that aspect of his character, God emphasizes the gracious and forgiving parts SIX times. He also speaks of punishment to “the third and fourth generation,” but contrasts that with how he maintains love to thousands. Yes, there are times for God’s justice, but the majority of the description is focused on mercy.

The compassion of God

Another deeply moving thing to consider in this passage is that the word translated as compassionate is closely related in Hebrew to the word for womb. God’s compassion is not surface level pity. God’s compassion is a gut-deep, action-provoking form of love.

Screenshot from the Compassion video from the Bible Project

I agree with the statement that God doesn’t want us to go through life afraid, but it’s important to think through why. Throughout Scripture, God is described as a loving parent who desires the flourishing of humans and the reconciliation of the world to himself. So while I don’t believe that he wants to shame us for having a very natural emotion that he designed to protect us, I think he cares for us and knows the very real danger that fear itself can pose when not kept in its proper place. He doesn’t say “fear not!” in order to “keep us in line,” but because he wants something better for us. 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

1 John 4:18 (NIV)

When fear turns toxic

While I disagree with the narrative that we should feel ashamed of a normal human response of fear, I also see many instances where fear is taken to toxic places. A puzzling paradox is how many of the same people who argue “faith over fear” to quiet the concerns of others when it comes to facing disease or war or concerns about the impact of public policy on themselves or their neighbors turn around and use fear as a behavior management tactic in their interpersonal relationships and views on society. Maybe you’ve seen some of these patterns, too:

• A pervasive and sometimes obsessive preoccupation with hell or God’s wrath

• Fear about the downfall of society or the disintegration of the nuclear family

• Fear of the decline of Christianity

• Fear of government persecution 

• Various conspiracy theories about national or global plots that bring harm in some way

Often these fears are not just occasional anxieties that spring up, but are a major theme of thought and discussion. I’ve known people who seem to spend most of their time worrying about these things, and are certainly not turning to “fear not” passages when those topics arise internally or in discussion.

While fear is a protective instinct that is sometimes necessary to protect us from things in the world that would harm or even kill us, too much fear is toxic to our bodies. Fear is designed to be a fleeting thing that pushes us away from imminent danger, not a constant state of being. 

Fear in its proper place

We must prioritize keeping fear in its proper place: not a source of shame or an obsessive state of being, but a protective instinct that we learn how to manage. My hope for us is that we will bring our fear to the Father and learn to draw comfort from his invitation to “fear not.” Not because we believe that it is sinful to be afraid, but because we recognize that our Father is near and can be trusted. We can rest in his care.

Photo by Heike Mintel on Unsplash

Free Resource:

There is so much fear and outrage peddled on social media and through traditional news outlets, and part of keeping fear in its place is implementing coping strategies for the daily onslaught of negativity that we face. Earlier this year my team and I wrote a short guide on How to Engage the News. We included some practical steps as well as a beautiful prayer from my colleague Brooklyn. You can download it for free here!